King of Contradiction

Sooooo, I'm back. With guess what, boy trouble. I will NEVER understand the male race, or really other people in general, they make everything so complex it's not even funny.

So I met this guy called Denver through my university's social group. He was cool, and we had deep discussions and texted every day and face timed sometimes and it was great, I felt like we really had a bond.

Of course, I had never met him in person, but we had video chatted so I wasn't afraid of a catfish or anything.

He was from a small town and he likes comic books and he seemed really sweet and nice. Of course there was the added bonus that he was cute and he thought I was and there was some harmless flirting going on, but just enough to form a great friendship, or so I thought.

The problems started when we actually met. He was exactly who he said he was, and I have no complaints whatsoever about that. He's different, but a good sort of special different which you don't find very often.

So we started hanging out and texting less. I started to make plans with him and that continued. It feels like I'm the only one making plans and it's totally one sided.

But you see, I should tell you something I very quickly found out. Denver is the KING of mixed signals.

We're both very physical people so naturally cuddling is nice, and it's supposedly platonic and doesn't mean anything blah blah blah, but he'll do little things to make me question if that statement is true, like lace his fingers in mine. Or brush his hand against exposed skin gently.

Like, to me those things are SPECIAL. Those are loving little motions that let the other person know you're thinking about them and you want them to know you enjoy their company. Yet they seem common place for him???

And then he'll say stuff like "I really like it when you stay over" or "why do you never pay attention to me?" and it's just like, what are you trying to get at, kid.

There's ALSO the problem with sexual contact. There was an incident where in short terms he touched my butt a bit too much and I told him off, his response was "you make it difficult to be good". Or recently he's been enjoying, for lack of a better word, slapping my ass. Like, I don't mind it, if I was single I would definitely reciprocate, but I have no idea where this relationship lies.

That's my min problem, I guess. It's one I've always had. I don't know how he really feels about me, and I don't know how I can find out without seeming weird.

The dynamic works, and I enjoy my time with him, I just gives me quite the headache thinking about it in my spare time.

But again, that  is one of my many fatal flaws. Over thinking EVERYTHING. It'll get better and I'll figure it out.

Talk to you soon my internet hipsters,

Caitlin xoxo