#teamteenageangst

Do you ever just feel shitty?

Like, you feel as if the general population has put your life on the back burner, not really seeing you or really giving a fuck about you?

Don't even lie, you know the feels. Everyone knows those feels at some point in their lives.

They suck, they're unwanted and for the most part just really depressing. Why do we feel this way? It's almost like we're on this emotional roller coaster called adolescence that we never wanted to get on in the first place.

Now, I might just be a mess of hormones, but I really don't think it's fair for people to give teenagers such a hard time. If you really think about it, it's genuinely surprising that we survive our teenage years in the first place! It's a time where our bodies are growing and maturing, and hormones are rushing through our system like the gates of hell themselves have opened up. Meanwhile, our teachers and parents want us to act all grown up, yet still be a kid and listen to them. It is the point in our lives where we have to find ourselves, and figure out what we want to do with our lives and get good grades and make friends and deal with everyone breathing down our necks, it's a miracle that we make it through without some serious repercussions!

Studies have shown that during our teenage years our frontal lobe is still developing and changing. This is the part of the brain where we're able to link our actions with the theoretical consequences. With this part of the brain we're able to plan ahead and figure things out for our future.

So, if this portion of our brain isn't even fully functional, WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY MAKING US MAKE DECISIONS THAT WILL EFFECT THE REST OF OUR LIFE?

Like, we as teenagers can't even BEGIN to fully grasp or comprehend how our lives will be changed based on what decisions we make now. What courses we take, where we go for university or college, who we hang out with, what activities we decide to partake in, and so much more can help make or break us and the path we take in life.

God, sitting here and just thinking about makes me so scared and depressed and stressed. I really don't want to grow up, and I don't want to have to face my responsibilities. I just want to pack a backpack, hop on my bike or in a car and leave for a while and just live with the clothes on my back and the money in my bank account. I want to go and scream and punch a wall and cry, cry so much about everything. I want to forget about everything and everyone and move to a different city, state or country and start all over again. I want to chuck my phone out the window, delete all my social media and fucking go out and talk to people, hug people, touch them and know they're real. I want to talk to them about my problems and fears, and I want to know if there are people out there with the same difficulties and issues.

In all honesty, I want a guy who will always be there, no matter what. I want him to help me through my darkest days, pick me up when I fall down, and know me like the back of his hand. I want him to believe in me and love me even when I'm at the breaking point. I want him to see me at my worst and at my best and all the points in between. Most of all I want him to love me for me and want to be with me as much as I want to be with him, and be willing to drop anything if I need him.

Well isn't that the poster child for proverbial emotional throw up? Please, hold your applause, I'll be here till friday, then theres no telling where I'll be. Thank you, thank you. You're really too kind. (If you can't tell I'm having a kinda shitty day in the emotions and feels department.)

On that note, I love you my lovelies, and if I do end up going away in the spur of the moment I won't leave you, I promise.

Have a good night, and sweet dreams beautiful,

xoxo